So, Boundary Awareness around transitions is about keeping in mind what is needed to make for good transitions as pastors move from congregation to congregation. One person told a story about doing a funeral that was maybe on the edge of appropriate, or at least led to an ethics complaint, and it was a good reminder to me that I am not the role of clergy.
I'm imagining a cicada's shell - it fits around the cicada and it's clear when the cicada is wearing it, but it also protects the cicada and gives it strength. So if someone comes to me and asks for pastoral care from me after I've left my position, they're asking for me, but also asking for that role. And the thing is, only one person inhabits that shell at a time. Here, clearly, the metaphor breaks down. But certainly in a transition, leaving that shell behind (maybe like a lobster, instead?) leaves a pastor feeling vulnerable and naked until a new shell hardens.
Ways that good boundaries during ministry helps with transitions:
- paying attention to personal friendships with parishioners
- not doing ongoing mental health counseling - referring after 3-6 sessions
- in entering a new ministry, BE the pastor/practice self-differentiation
Also, if we think of ministry as teamwork, and caring for churches and church members as teamwork, then part of our work is helping people bond with their new pastor (as we leave) and continuing to appreciate and draw wisdom from the previous pastor (as we enter). Ex. "Pastor Emeritus reflects that...." This is different from "I have to defend MY authority."
Grateful for good conversation and lots to think about!
No comments:
Post a Comment