Spirituality and Not Judging

Amber Tamblyn, who plays Joan in "Joan of Arcadia," says in an interview on Beliefnet:

"One of my good friends is Christian, goes to church every Sunday, very religious. I?m fine with that and I will never judge her. And one of my other friends could not believe in God if he came down and tapped her on the shoulder. She's a biologist--a student at UCLA--and I don't judge her either, because I really believe that God is a personal opinion, and only that." [My italics]

Here's the article if you're interested in reading the whole thing.

I think Amber's comments highlights a common thread I've seen elsewhere with folks who are spiritual but not religious. It is important to her that she not judge other people. There is a similar impulse in Christian teaching. However it is not a total rejection of judging other people--you just have to be brutally honest about your own faults. (To paraphrase Jesus: Don't complain about the splinter in somebody else's eye until you have taken the humongous wooden plank out of your own eye.)

There is a particular strength in Amber's commitment to making no judgements, which is that by calling God "a personal opinion" she can maintain relationships with people who have differing "opinions"--the Christian and the atheist biology student.

She is alluding to a common problem many people have with religion: it can convey a sense of superiority that makes followers judgemental. (Ironically, in the case of Christians, the very problem Jesus was preaching against.) The other side of that coin is that many people feel like they aren't good enough for church--that it won't be an accepting place. So if religion is not accepting, it is judgemental, and Amber is more interested in being accepting than stating her beliefs too firmly.

Of course this creates some problems, since a religious belief is something more than a personal opinion--it's part of a structure for organizing the world. For example, I believe the gravity holds me to the ground. Which to my mind is something more than an opinion. It helps me organize me day.

Is there a middle ground? Firmly stating your beliefs while still maintaining good relationships with a variety of people? I suspect that more openness about these things could be, like other risks in relationships, a way of building stronger bonds.